10. Damned lugnut jewelry leaves nasty bruises when line dancing 9. Gets you out of bed every morning using heavy duty floor jack 8. The "move over" flag at your local track looks suspiciously like the nightie you gave her last Christmas 7. Always "impounds" your underwear for inspection when you returned from a "night out with the boys" 6. Still complaining about you jumping the start and her always recording a DNF 5. Puts a restrictor plate on your stereo volume knob 4. Attached a bitchin' spoiler to the vacuum cleaner 3. Chugs a six pack of Bud, smokes a pack of Winstons and washes your Hooters t-shirts in all temperature Tide 2. Kids attend Easter service dressed as the Goodwrench pit crew AND THE NUMBER 1 SIGN YOUR WIFE IS OBSESSED WITH NASCAR: 1. Keeps giving you the black flag in bed for using "leaky equipment"
What! No "actions detrimental to the sport?"
I'm disappointed! How about:
Times the baby sitter as she changes a diaper filled with Hersheys Kissables look alikes (minus the candy coating).
Each tenth of a second over 13.7 seconds results in a reduction of 50 cents per hour in payment.
Posted by: Marc | April 20, 2006 at 05:50 PM
You pay your wife more than 50 cents an hour?
Posted by: Chuck | April 21, 2006 at 12:52 PM
"You pay your wife more than 50 cents an hour?"
Not really... she the holder of a lot of IOU's.
Posted by: Marc | April 21, 2006 at 09:12 PM