Pit Road Post

Nascar Car of Future Drives Like a Car

In another one of those "can you believe he just said that?" quotes, Jeff Burton admits that the Nascar Car of the Future drives just like, wit for it now - here it comes..."it feels like a car"

Imagine that, a car that drives like a car!

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FAKE RACE FAN~~REAL RACE FAN

FAKE RACE FAN

REAL RACE FAN

Arrives at track in a Volvo station wagon	Arrives at track in a converted school bus
Identifies his car with tennis ball stuck on the antenna	Identifies his truck with an 8 x 12 Confederate Battle Flag
Brings belongings in L.L. Bean tote bag	Brings belongings in Jack Daniel's case
Wears weejuns, chinos, and new Summer Lights visor	Wears shower thongs, cut offs, and lucky Wynn's  Friction-Proofing hat from '68 race
Complains about having to wait in line at porta-john	Brings his own
Looks at the sky, and sees Carolina blue	Looks at the sky and sees Petty blue
Assumes that the chain link fence around infield is to protect fans from the cars	Assumes chain link fence around infield is to protect the cars from fans
Lunches on cream cheese and olive sandwiches	Lunches on 48 piece bucket of Colonel Sanders
Brings handi-wipes for cleanup	Thinks that's why tee shirts have sleeves
Stops drinking while he is still in control	Stops drinking while he throws up
Listens to Chopin on Walkman	Listens to Hank Williams, Jr. on jambox
Envies fans watching race from condominiums	Feels sorry for those watching the race in condominiums
Gets into an argument with passerby about Bill and Hillary Clinton	Gets into an argument with fans about Darrell Waltrup
Says Indy Five Hundred is a sporting classic	Says Indy Five Hundred is weird!!
Says most admired woman in racing is Shauna Robinson	Says most admired woman in racing is Miss Winston
Says that Richard Petty was unethical when he used an oversized engine	Says Richard Petty just got caught
Has nightmares about nuclear war	Has nightmares about running out of beer
Watches finish of race with binoculars	Learns who won the race Monday morning at work

Thanks to

How You Can Find The Perfect NASCAR Mate

Potential mates must be NASCAR fans.

Alternative: Potential mate must be deaf so that they cannot hear you cheering loudly from your armchair. Blind so they cannot see the overwhelming volume of race paraphernalia (anyone else have diecasts that aren’t “allowed” in the living room?). Mute so they cannot interrupt a race broadcast at the most inopportune moments.

Before you ever go out with a potential mate, find out which driver she-he supports.

Note: Daytona USA commercial. Ricky Rudd and Rusty Wallace fans cannot co-exist happily in the same space. All the better if you support the same driver. The couple that cheers together, stays together.

If you’re a NASCAR junkie, make sure your potential mate is, too.

Lesson: Walk the walk, talk the talk. Hearing “Why are they driving down that road there?” as the cars come down to make a pit stop is not acceptable. Shoot, it’s not even mildly amusing.

Ensure that your potential mate has complementary, not duplicate, subscriptions to the essential racing magazines.

Example: You bring NASCAR Illustrated, Racing Milestones, and The Sporting News to the table. Your ideal mate brings Speedway Illustrated, Stock Car Racing, and Circle Track to the relationship.

Establish protocol right away.

Rules: No weddings, birthday parties, BBQs, baptisms, or other such obligatory events on race day. No races will be skipped to attend such events. (If your presence is required at such an event, mate must know that you will bring a portable television, radio or whichever other device will keep you properly informed.) As a NASCAR junkie’s mate, if you hear breaking news about my driver(s), team(s), or NASCAR in general, your responsibility is to immediately alert me to said news. There is no talking during race broadcasts. And yes, you will have to learn to live with iNdemand on one TV, network broadcast on another TV, and MRN providing the play-by-play.

Racing will be celebrated throughout the home.

Examples: Diecast collectibles will be displayed wherever appropriate and will not be restricted to one room. Framed lithographs, posters, or tickets will serve as a nice welcome in the entryway to our home.

Document ownership of the racing collectibles and/or tickets before you co-habitate.

Lesson: Jenny wound up with Jack’s Loudon tickets after they parted ways. Jack now anxiously awaits for that three- or five- or however-many-year waitlist to make any movement whatsoever so that he can once again have his own tickets.

Establish Racing Holidays right away.

Calendar: Any races you’re planning to attend in person. Daytona 500 – from Bud Shootout to Twin 125s to the race itself. Bristol night race. Talladega (x2). Pepsi 400 in Daytona over the Fourth of July weekend. The Winston. Both Charlotte night races (as of 2003 season). Please note that these holidays will be celebrated like any other – with no yard work, household chores, or errands done during these revered occasions. If entertaining during these events, casual, informal, SuperBowl-style parties will be in full effect. The more, the merrier.

Understand that healthy debate about racing is never considered arguing.

Lesson: Enthusiastic discussion about the latest racing news – be it Tony Stewart, Silly Season, or your favorite driver's media over-exposure – is not an argument. It is a healthy exchange of your shared obsession. And if you have different points of view, all the better. Live, love, and laugh. And never go to bed mad.

And if you find that perfect, understanding, similarly obsessed, fellow NASCAR junkie, be sure to …

Set the Rules of Engagement.

Absolutely no wedding can take place on the weekend that a race is in town. And if the wedding is during the season, I’m sorry, honey. There will be a big screen TV at the reception tuned into the race.

From Insider Racing News

...Cant' Buy Me Love...

Kurt Busch made a $1 million donation to the Victory Junction Gang Camp at Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte on Friday.

I still don't know any KB fans.

If I Had A Million Dollars...

I'd be taking this to all the races.

NASCAR Cleadus Judd

Defiant Labbe accepts 4-week suspension

SCENE Daily CHARLOTTE -- Suspended crew chief Richard "Slugger" Labbe will grudgingly sit out the next four NASCAR Nextel Cup events while the No. 88 Robert Yates Racing team races under the leadership of car chief Jason Burdett.

The National Stock Car Racing Commission denied Labbe's appeal Wednesday afternoon over penalties stemming from an illegal sway bar at Richmond. The team and driver Dale Jarrett were docked 25 points, and Labbe was fined $25,000 in addition to the suspension.

Would that be unlike Chad Knauss, who sat out willingly??

Jarrett off to Toyota

In an an announcement made this morning on Nascar LIVE! from Darlington, Dale Jarrett confirmed what many had suspected - he will be driving for Toyota and Michael Waltrip racing.

No word on if UPS will be following Jarrett to Toyota.

Pull Up Your Socks, Michael!

There are a few drivers outside of the top 35 that really should borrow this decal for Darlington qualifying, from Ricky Bobby of "Talledega Nights", right Michael Waltrip?

Ten Tips for Successful Fantasy Racing

For those of you, like me, near the bottom of your local Nascar pool, here are some great tips from ProFantasySports:

1. Pay attention to driver interviews as there are plenty of them. Look at thier faces as they interview and see how they describe their cars, and thier runs/testing/practice and current drama. They will always say good things about thier sponsors and cars, but if they are truely happy, they will not stop talking about how good thier car is and about what races they are going to run good at and chassis and specifics and data and stats and.... get the idea? they will ramble on and on about it despite how the interviewer tries to direct the interview. Take note the body language because most of all communication is non-verbal and most of that is body language.
2. Take note of rumors - what? yes i said take note, no don't believe them, but note them. there is an old saying that where there is smoke there is fire. a good example is s slip up from Michael Waltrip and SceneDaily email digest that went out saying Dale Jarrett was a former racing member of Yates racing, when in fact Dale had NOT YET said anything for sure of his decision. Most anytime there are rumors, they have come from somewhere about something, and while they may not always, and in fact are rarely what they appear for face value, there is always a "real story" there to be found, and that would be the best thing to do, and if you can find that, you will be one step ahead of your competition.
3. Keep reading! I can't stress this enough as the season gains momentum, and you get over the 2 months of Daytona, and the season FINALLY begins, and you realize that you must get on with your life, you tend to just go with what you think you know from last season, cause you know all about NASCAR. Truth is, while you were immersed in bragging about your driver and your accomplishments last year, your driver and his competitors were busy testing, signing sponsors, and making mid season deals that will surface on the 1/4 and 1/2 and again perhaps 2/3's the way through the season that will blind side you if you are not careful, and depending on your league this could be your downfall as those others you play agains will smugly pass you by because they were surfing the internet for the new sites and stats collections and fantasy writeups that give them the new competitive edge, and the new ways of looking at things. Stay Sharp!
4. Keep some kind of records. I know you are not "that into" your game, and if not that is fine. There are enough other fantasy racing junkies like myself that do this for you, and for free or for nominal fees, however that information is subjective to opinion and preferance as well. There are times where i will not put drivers in my lineups when i should simply because i just don't like them, and when i have to i will give them a horrid review.
5. Be a Detective. Here is another good tip, go to your favorite website that has articles that will recapture actual driver quotes from interviews and preferably more than just a couple of sentances. Every time, without fail you will hear a driver talk about future plans and upcoming strenghts and weaknesses. Do you think he is lying? Pay attention and keep that information somehow, maybe in that new set of folders you just purchased per my recommendation. Example: Casey Mears during testing at Richmond was talking about his car, and his favorite tracks, and he said that while Richmond was fun and great, when he was asked if he could build a track or live next to one he could race, at any time, he would preferr Texas Motor Speedway. *write it down* he also said that he loves to go 200+ mph and loves the bump draft, *mental note fast tracks and bumpy old surfaces that bounce and bump you around are good tracks for Casey. he also said that a car is being built for him that is similar to last years car at Charlotte, and that it should be done in time to race on Lowe's. If that is the case, you would look back at Lowe's and see how he did there, and if that looks good, make a note, and put him in for lowes or the race right before that.

6. to be continued at a later date... stay tuned