Pit Road Post

Wally's World is Back

It's been a while since Wally Dallenbach has been competitive (if ever) on the Nascar circuit, but just in time for him to brag about it when NBC resumes their broadcasting this weekend, he goes and wins the Pikes Peak International Climb Open Wheel Division.  OK, it's not even equivilant to an ARCA win, with such notables as David Donner, Gary Ediger, and Jimmy Keeney being beaten out by Wally this past week.  But I'm sure we'll hear about it on Wally's World soon.

How To Spot Casual NASCAR Fans

Steve Hunt wrote a great article for Laidbackracing.com:

1.The only track bar they know about is the tavern at the local horse racing facility.

2.To them, infield is only associated with baseball or the Kentucky Derby.

3.They can tell you which driver they like but not why they like them.

4.They think The Lady In Black is an off-Broadway show.

5.They wonder what the big deal is about moving a race from Rockingham to California since Hollywood is the center of the universe.

6.NASCAR Nation is set for a season pass on their TIVO.

7.Usually, at least one them wears anything designer to the track. The only designers we should see at the track are Levi Strauss and Chase Authentics.

8.They know that Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s dad was a driver but can’t tell you much else about the man considered the greatest driver in NASCAR history.

9.Who exactly is this Ward Burton guy anyway?

10.What is the big deal about Mark Martin retiring? Hasn’t he been around a long time?

Read the rest here

Dick Cheney To Attend Pepsi 400

Vice President Dick Cheney is scheduled to attend Saturday's Pepsi 400 in Daytona. We wonder if the local hotels are aware of the vice presidential requirements as disclosed by The Smoking Gun?  "The document is provided to hotels where Cheney will be bunking and lists how the Republican pol's "Downtime Suite" needs to be outfitted. While the vice president's requests are pretty modest (no extract-the-brown-M&M demands here), Cheney does like his suite at a comfy 68 degrees. And, of course, all the televisions need to be preset to the Fox News Channel (what, you thought he was a Lifetime devotee?). Decaf coffee should be ready upon his arrival along with four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite. And when Cheney is traveling with his wife Lynne, the second family's suite needs an additional two bottles of sparkling water. Mrs. Cheney's H2O should be either Calistoga or, curiously, Perrier, a favored beverage of French terrorism appeasers... "

The Pit Road Post also wonders whether the standard Nascar "Leave Your Guns At Home" rule will apply this weekend.

NASCAR: What You Should Know

From YouTube

Will Ferrell named Chicagoland's grand marshal

SCENEDAILY

Chicagoland Speedway officials have announced that actor Will Ferrell will serve as grand marshal for the July 9 USG Sheetrock 400 Nextel Cup Series race at the Joliet, Ill., track.

Ferrell stars as fictional NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby in the Columbia Pictures film "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," which opens Aug. 4.

CARRIE UNDERWOOD PERFORMS

American Country Music Award winner Carrie Underwood performs her current hit, "Jesus Takes the Wheel" prior to the NASCAR NEXTEL Coca-Cola 600 at Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte, NC on May 28, 2006. (UPI Photo/Bob Carey) - Photo via NewsCom

I'm not a country music fan, I just like the picture.

FAKE RACE FAN~~REAL RACE FAN

FAKE RACE FAN

REAL RACE FAN

Arrives at track in a Volvo station wagon	Arrives at track in a converted school bus
Identifies his car with tennis ball stuck on the antenna	Identifies his truck with an 8 x 12 Confederate Battle Flag
Brings belongings in L.L. Bean tote bag	Brings belongings in Jack Daniel's case
Wears weejuns, chinos, and new Summer Lights visor	Wears shower thongs, cut offs, and lucky Wynn's  Friction-Proofing hat from '68 race
Complains about having to wait in line at porta-john	Brings his own
Looks at the sky, and sees Carolina blue	Looks at the sky and sees Petty blue
Assumes that the chain link fence around infield is to protect fans from the cars	Assumes chain link fence around infield is to protect the cars from fans
Lunches on cream cheese and olive sandwiches	Lunches on 48 piece bucket of Colonel Sanders
Brings handi-wipes for cleanup	Thinks that's why tee shirts have sleeves
Stops drinking while he is still in control	Stops drinking while he throws up
Listens to Chopin on Walkman	Listens to Hank Williams, Jr. on jambox
Envies fans watching race from condominiums	Feels sorry for those watching the race in condominiums
Gets into an argument with passerby about Bill and Hillary Clinton	Gets into an argument with fans about Darrell Waltrup
Says Indy Five Hundred is a sporting classic	Says Indy Five Hundred is weird!!
Says most admired woman in racing is Shauna Robinson	Says most admired woman in racing is Miss Winston
Says that Richard Petty was unethical when he used an oversized engine	Says Richard Petty just got caught
Has nightmares about nuclear war	Has nightmares about running out of beer
Watches finish of race with binoculars	Learns who won the race Monday morning at work

Thanks to

How You Can Find The Perfect NASCAR Mate

Potential mates must be NASCAR fans.

Alternative: Potential mate must be deaf so that they cannot hear you cheering loudly from your armchair. Blind so they cannot see the overwhelming volume of race paraphernalia (anyone else have diecasts that aren’t “allowed” in the living room?). Mute so they cannot interrupt a race broadcast at the most inopportune moments.

Before you ever go out with a potential mate, find out which driver she-he supports.

Note: Daytona USA commercial. Ricky Rudd and Rusty Wallace fans cannot co-exist happily in the same space. All the better if you support the same driver. The couple that cheers together, stays together.

If you’re a NASCAR junkie, make sure your potential mate is, too.

Lesson: Walk the walk, talk the talk. Hearing “Why are they driving down that road there?” as the cars come down to make a pit stop is not acceptable. Shoot, it’s not even mildly amusing.

Ensure that your potential mate has complementary, not duplicate, subscriptions to the essential racing magazines.

Example: You bring NASCAR Illustrated, Racing Milestones, and The Sporting News to the table. Your ideal mate brings Speedway Illustrated, Stock Car Racing, and Circle Track to the relationship.

Establish protocol right away.

Rules: No weddings, birthday parties, BBQs, baptisms, or other such obligatory events on race day. No races will be skipped to attend such events. (If your presence is required at such an event, mate must know that you will bring a portable television, radio or whichever other device will keep you properly informed.) As a NASCAR junkie’s mate, if you hear breaking news about my driver(s), team(s), or NASCAR in general, your responsibility is to immediately alert me to said news. There is no talking during race broadcasts. And yes, you will have to learn to live with iNdemand on one TV, network broadcast on another TV, and MRN providing the play-by-play.

Racing will be celebrated throughout the home.

Examples: Diecast collectibles will be displayed wherever appropriate and will not be restricted to one room. Framed lithographs, posters, or tickets will serve as a nice welcome in the entryway to our home.

Document ownership of the racing collectibles and/or tickets before you co-habitate.

Lesson: Jenny wound up with Jack’s Loudon tickets after they parted ways. Jack now anxiously awaits for that three- or five- or however-many-year waitlist to make any movement whatsoever so that he can once again have his own tickets.

Establish Racing Holidays right away.

Calendar: Any races you’re planning to attend in person. Daytona 500 – from Bud Shootout to Twin 125s to the race itself. Bristol night race. Talladega (x2). Pepsi 400 in Daytona over the Fourth of July weekend. The Winston. Both Charlotte night races (as of 2003 season). Please note that these holidays will be celebrated like any other – with no yard work, household chores, or errands done during these revered occasions. If entertaining during these events, casual, informal, SuperBowl-style parties will be in full effect. The more, the merrier.

Understand that healthy debate about racing is never considered arguing.

Lesson: Enthusiastic discussion about the latest racing news – be it Tony Stewart, Silly Season, or your favorite driver's media over-exposure – is not an argument. It is a healthy exchange of your shared obsession. And if you have different points of view, all the better. Live, love, and laugh. And never go to bed mad.

And if you find that perfect, understanding, similarly obsessed, fellow NASCAR junkie, be sure to …

Set the Rules of Engagement.

Absolutely no wedding can take place on the weekend that a race is in town. And if the wedding is during the season, I’m sorry, honey. There will be a big screen TV at the reception tuned into the race.

From Insider Racing News

...Cant' Buy Me Love...

Kurt Busch made a $1 million donation to the Victory Junction Gang Camp at Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte on Friday.

I still don't know any KB fans.

Pull Up Your Socks, Michael!

There are a few drivers outside of the top 35 that really should borrow this decal for Darlington qualifying, from Ricky Bobby of "Talledega Nights", right Michael Waltrip?